There are definitely a few things I wish someone had told me before heading into my first birth. Things that would have made a big difference in my experience that day. So today, I’m going to share those pieces of advice that I wish someone had told me! And I pray they fill YOUR labor and birth with deep freedom and enjoyment!
Here are they are:
1. Make whatever sounds you want!
For some reason, all the births we watched in the birth took class I took showed very quiet moms peacefully birthing their babies. No moans, no screams, no strange sounds. And so I thought that was the “right” way to birth.
But when it came time to push MY baby out, I found myself yelling and making all kinds of sounds. Not because I was suffering. But because some crazy force was taking over my body and I couldn’t help but yell as I pushed. Almost like you can’t help but make noise during an orgasm sometimes. It’s just so intense, you want to yell out.
And I felt embarrassed for how loud I was being. I remember thinking, “How in the world were those moms in the videos so quiet?”
With both my births, I moaned a lot through labor (it just felt really good and I could tell it was opening me up and helping my baby move down) and then I was extremely loud during pushing. And I felt a bit embarrassed both times.
But looking back, I realize that I was doing great! I was doing exactly what my body needed to relax and push that baby out. I was letting go of all inhibitions and letting my body take over – which is EXACTLY what you need to do during birth! And since then I’ve learned even more about how making low, deep sounds can help open you up, fully relax, and dilate quicker. Some moms even moan deeply “dooooowwwwn” during a contraction – picturing baby moving down!
So be free Beloved! Let your inhibitions go and feel free to make whatever sounds help you! (although high sounds can cause your lower muscles to tighten – so deep, low sounds are usually best). No embarrassment. No shame. Let go, enjoy, and birth you baby!
2. Even if labor doesn’t go as you had hoped or planned, it can still be one of the best days of your life!
I was so disappointed when I had to transfer to the hospital with my first birth to get induced due to complications. I thought my dream birth was ruined. And I cried a lot during the first half of that day as we checked into the hospital.
But half-way through the day my best friend called me and said, “Kierra, I had to transfer to the hospital too with my first birth, but it was still one of the best days of my life! You can still totally enjoy this day and your birth.”
Those life-giving words snapped me out of my disappointment and pity-party and launched me into a place where I actually started enjoying my birth! And you know what, Leah was right. It still was one of the best days of my life and I still LOVED giving birth! I just wish someone had told me this truth earlier so that I didn’t miss out on the joy of the first half of the day.
So I’m telling you today so you don’t miss out on an ounce of joy that’s available to you during your birth :).
3. Labor can start and stop a few times before really kicking into gear.
Sometimes it takes a week of on-again, off-again labor before the real deal sets in. I wish someone had explained that to me so that I didn’t get so excited every time some contractions started. I called my husband home from work, told my parents it was time to make the 3-hour drive to watch my toddler, and even started filling up the birth pool. Only to have the contractions die off as I went to bed that night. And real labor didn’t set in for another 5 DAYS!
Whoops.
Every body is different, but just know that this can be normal. Sometimes your body takes a while to really kick into active labor. Sometimes it practices for a few days before the real thing.
So be patient, let your body take whatever time it needs to warm up before the final event, and go about your normal day as much as possible until you realize, “Yes, contractions are getting stronger and closer together and things are definitely progressing!”
4. Determine not to worry about anything that day!
Before my first birth, I didn’t realize how much worry could hinder and sabotage labor. I didn’t understand that worrying released stress hormones in my body that hindered the oxytocin hormones that were needed for effective, comfortable contractions.
And so when complications came up, I worried. When I was given 8 hours to be in active labor or be induced, I worried. I actually stayed up all night worrying. And surprise, surprise, I never went into active labor and did have to be induced. Probably all because I was worrying too much to release the oxytocin needed to trigger contractions. Whoops.
So my best advice to you is to determine ahead of time not to worry about ANYTHING that day. Surrender all the details to Jesus and trust Him completely. Determine to stay in His peace and joy no matter what is going on around you. Refuse to allow any stress hormones to interfere with your labor and birth. Trust me, your baby will feel the difference and have a much easier time finding his/her way into the world :). And you will enjoy a much shorter and more peaceful labor!
There you have it! The 4 things I wish someone had told me ahead of time. What are some things you wish someone had told YOU before your first birth? Share them below to encourage other moms reading this!
Lots of love,
Kierra