Ok, so I know I often encourage you to enjoy your birth experience. Reminding you that God created it to be one of the best days of your life; that giving birth is a crazy love gift to enjoy. And all of that’s true!
But what does it really mean to ‘enjoy’ your birth? Does it mean you’re loving every second? Or think that every part of it feels amazing? Or that you’re smiling and laughing through it all? Probably not.
‘Enjoying your birth’ doesn’t necessarily mean that you enjoy every minute of the whole experience. Maybe you will, and that’s awesome! But if you’re like most of us, there will probably be some moments that aren’t your favorite. That you’re not exactly enjoying.
(you know, like poop or a wave of nausea or maybe the ‘ring of fire’ when he’s crowning or a crazy intense contraction…)
And I want to say, that’s normal! No problem. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Giving birth is hard work. And it’s not all chocolate and roses. So don’t feel guilty if you’re not enjoying every second of it. Or even if you really dislike some parts of it. That’s ok.
It can still be one of the best days of your life and you can still love the whole experience. You can still have amazing moments that bring tears of joy and wonder to your eyes, leave you breathless with awe, and leave you basking in the deep intimacy you’re experiencing with God, your baby, and husband.
I talk so much about how amazing birth can be because it really can be and most pregnant moms only hear the opposite. So I have a huge passion to tell them the other side of the story. That it doesn’t have to be scary and traumatic. That it can be beautiful, empowering, joy-filled, and one of the best experiences of your life.
But I don’t want that message to set you up for disappointment if every minute of your labor and birth isn’t magical and enjoyable.
But you know, nothing in life really is. I mean, marriage is an incredible love gift from God meant for us to enjoy, but that doesn’t mean we love every minute of it. Some of it is really hard. But worth pushing through the hard. And so rewarding and fulfilling when we do. I still love being married even though some of it’s really hard.
Or how about our wedding day? A lot of us would probably say that it was one of the best days of our life. But if we’re honest, that doesn’t mean that we loved every single second of it. I’m sure there were some stressful, disappointing moments too. But we still loved the day and we will cherish the memories from it in our heart forever.
Ok, so same with birth. There can be some hard parts you have to push through, some fears you face, some disappointing moments, but it can still be one of the best experiences of your life! It can still be a day that you love and cherish and look back on with such fond memories. It can still be an experience and day that you enjoy!
I just had to get that out there. So no one feels led on if they hit a really hard part of their labor. Don’t let that sidetrack you. You can face it. You can do it. You are a beautiful, brave, strong mama and you and Jesus can do it!
And then savor all the amazing parts of the day. The strength you feel when your husband holds you through a contraction. The intimacy you experience with him, the laughter you share with him. The whispers you hear from God. The massage your doula gives you. The warmth of the bath. The candles and worship music. The funny moments. The excitement of knowing you get to meet your baby soon. The joy of seeing her for the first time. The peaceful breaks between contractions. And the list goes on and on. There will be amazing moments. Hopefully TONS of them! Enjoy them!
I often say that I LOVED my second birth. That the only word I can think of to describe it is “Heavenly.” That’s true! For the majority of the labor, I loved every contraction and break. I felt so loved by God and my husband and birth team and I loved the sensations going through my body. Even though it hurt a bit, it also felt so good. And that’s what I think of and remember when I think of that birth.
But what I don’t always share is that there were some really hard parts of the labor at the end. That I was in a ton of pain as I pushed him out. Partly because he was coming out so fast that I didn’t have time to slowly stretch and that hurt like crazy. And partly because both my calves cramped up (I HATE charley horses) and all those sensations together were NOT FUN! So I yelled and screamed for a minute and my doula did her best to massage my legs and help them un-cramp and then I pushed my baby out. And it was all over and he was in my arms and I was overcome by love, gratitude, joy, wonder, and relief.
So yes, there were about 5 minutes at the end that really sucked and I didn’t enjoy at all. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love giving birth. I absolutely loved it and still think of that birth as totally “Heavenly” and would be so excited to do it again one day.
K, so there’s the honest truth.
I hope that encourages you today and helps you ‘enjoy’ your birth experience! No pressure to think every moment is supposed to be perfect and ‘enjoyable’. Just enjoy the beautiful moments and gifts God gives you and then bravely hold his hand through any hard parts. You can still come out testifying that you ‘enjoyed’ the day. Or that like me, you ‘love giving birth.’
You and Jesus got this beautiful Mama!
Now go ‘enjoy’ your birth for the wild gift that it is (minus all the not fun parts :))
Excited for you,
Kierra