What If I Feel Like a Failure Giving Birth?

I’ll admit it – after the birth of my first son, I felt like a bit of a failure. Like my birth was 2nd class somehow.

My dream of a birth center, all-natural, pain-free birth with Jesus crashed. And instead, I got a pitocin-induced, painful, and narcotic-filled hospital birth.

And somehow that type of birth felt 2nd class compared to the all-natural or supernaturally pain-free births of my friends.

Why couldn’t I withstand the pain without getting drugs? Others seemed to be able to do it.

And why didn’t I receive the pain-free birth I believed for? Was my faith not strong enough? I struggled for months with these questions. (Read the full story here)

But then I read Paul Manwaring’s book, Kisses From a Good God, and it changed everything. In it he shares his journey of overcoming cancer. He too struggled with feelings of shame and failure.

Working at Bethel Church where people were supernaturally healed from cancer all the time, he struggled with shame that his healing wasn’t coming that way. God ended up bringing his healing through surgery and the medical world.

But God met him in so many supernatural ways through that journey that he came out of it declaring, “Surgery is not a 2nd class healing.”

Sometimes God heals through prayer and sometimes he heals through medical hands – but either way it’s a healing from God. And either way, he can show up in wonderful, supernatural ways, lavishing you with love and kisses.

Paul hadn’t failed – God just chose to bless him in a different way than he expected. And I want to set you free with this same message today:

There are no 2nd Class Births!

Whether you end up with an epidural, induction, c-section, or a hospital birth you weren’t planning, none of these are 2nd class ways to give birth. And God loves to show up at all of them, pouring out His extravagant love and gifts.

Sometimes God gives his daughters supernatural, pain-free labors. I’ve witnessed these and it’s amazing! But sometimes He shows up in other ways and uses the medical world to bless the mom and bring a healthy baby into this world. And that’s no less a miracle.

Birthing a baby, a perfect little life, is always miraculous and supernatural. It’s seriously one of the most amazing miracles you’ll ever get to experience in your life!

God loves birth and He always shows up at them – it just doesn’t always look the same.

I’ve seen Him show up in a c-section where He supernaturally started a baby’s heart beat again that had stopped. He loves to partner with doctors in surgery!

I’ve seen him powerfully fill the room with His intoxicating presence after a mom got an epidural.

I’ve seen him give a supernaturally fast and easy labor to a mom who had to be induced three weeks early.

I’ve seen him deliver a baby with the sac still fully intact to protect the baby from Strep-B bacteria.

I’ve seen him meet moms in supernatural ways during very painful labors. So much so that they wouldn’t trade their labors or those experiences for anything. They experienced encounters with him in the pain that they will treasure the rest of their life.

 And I’ve seen Him give moms practically pain-free labors full of his peace, joy, and presence.

I don’t know how your birth story will go, but I promise you that God’s going to show up! And whether or not he shows up in the way you expect him to, I pray that you have eyes to see where he IS showing up and all the kisses he is giving you!

No shame however your story plays out!

No matter how it goes, you’re not a failure!

If you’re praying and believing for pain-free, but experience pain in it – you’re not a failure! You now get to face that pain with Jesus and overcome and be so proud of yourself at the end that you were capable of far more than you ever dreamed! And overwhelmed at how He met you in it.

If you’re hoping for an all-natural birth with no drugs, but end up getting an epidural, you are not a failure! You will make the best decision you know to make for both you and your baby and you can be proud of that.

Sometimes an epidural is the best thing for a mama and her baby. So if that’s your situation, receive that epidural as a love gift from God for allowing you to birth in a place where it’s available to you! Receive it as a kiss from him! And then go on to partner with Him to birth your baby in his joy and presence.

If you’re longing for a vaginal birth, but a c-section becomes necessary, you aren’t a failure! You are brave and wise for listening to Holy Spirit and the doctors. You will make the best decision you know to make for your baby. That’s honorable and admirable and your baby is blessed to have a mom who is willing to lay down her dreams and desires for the good of her children.

Receive the option of a c-section as a love gift from a good God who is looking out for you and your baby. And look for how He wants to supernaturally show up at it! (Who knows, maybe since you won’t be in the all-consuming exertion of pushing, you’ll get to see the angles in the room that other moms miss).

However it goes, embrace your story; embrace how God shows up at it; and enjoy your birth with him! Your 1st Class Birth!

You and God are going to rock it together!

Would love to hear your comments and stories below :).

Proud of you,


p.s. Check out my Online Kingdom Birth Class to learn how to fully experience the gift God wants your birth experience to be!

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  • Katie Durgin

    Thank you Kierra. I’m not going to lie. I’m sitting here in tears reading this because I had planned my first birth a couple months ago to be all natural at a birthing center and I ended up at the hospital with a c-section. I am so in love with my little girl and so thankful for everything, but there is still so much grief in my heart over it all and fear that I will never get to experience a vaginal birth. Thank you for this post. It’s very encouraging. I don’t understand it all but I know God is good and there is a reason for all that happened. 🙂